I have a ritual that I do every year: I go over each month and I journal about what happened that month, how I felt, wins, learnings, etc... A couple of years ago while doing this exercise, I realized a pattern: a few times that year I felt an immense desire to do absolutely nothing. To get under the covers and watch Netflix all day.
And because I'm an intuitive coach and have an anti-hustle mentality, I always tell myself it's ok to rest and recharge - we are not always at 100% capacity and it's ok to honor ourselves by resting.
However, the pattern that I noticed is that whenever I had a scary moment in my business, my body would shut down and get into this "Netflix & Chill" mode.
That happened just as I was launching the second edition of my Instagram for Business Bootcamp, then again after I quit my 9-to-5 to be fully self-employed, and again after I finished my first Mastermind group as self-employed and had 0 clients lined up to start 2022.
I would associate my feelings with other factors: it was my cycle, it was a reaction to the second dose of the vaccine, it was temporary... but that dread would just weigh me down for weeks. That's when I realized it was something else. And that's when I recognized the pattern to call it what it was: FEAR.
Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of judgment. Fear of not making enough money. Fear of what people will think. Fear to get out of my comfort zone, where is nice and cozy, and to brave a new world.
And the desire to do absolutely nothing was my nervous system response to keep me "safe": if I don't adventure through this I don't need to fear anything. So let's just do nothing instead.
Recognizing this behavior was eye-opening and absolutely necessary to get me out of this zone and to learn to deal with this sentiment. And, to tell you the truth, this sentiment still creeps in every now and then. There's no shame here, this is part of how our nervous system reacts in order to protect us from what it considers to be a threat. And no matter how successful you are - you are still bound to have these sorts of episodes (although it will show in different ways for each person).
That successful entrepreneur that you follow on Instagram and who is killing it — they have their own battles they are dealing with as well, even if they are not talking about it. The reality is - we all go through these moments - it's literally part of human nature. What they may have tho, is awareness of these moments and the tools to support them going through it.
But because no one talks about it, we either don't learn how to recognize these moments (and think we are a failure), or we don't learn how to deal with these moments when they show up in our lives.
Fear is an invitation to evolve
We grow with a conventional perception of fear as something negative, something to be avoided at all costs. But what if fear is not our enemy? What if it's a catalyst for growth, a gateway to transformation?
In the vast tapestry of life, fear often emerges as an unwelcome guest, casting shadows over our aspirations, dreams, and desires. It can feel paralyzing, overwhelming, and suffocating. We instinctively recoil from its presence, desperately seeking refuge in our comfort zones.
Yet, what if we dared to reframe our relationship with fear? What if we approached it not with resistance, but with curiosity and courage?
Fear, in its essence, is an innate response to the unknown, a primal instinct that has ensured our survival throughout history. It warns us of potential dangers and keeps us on our toes, ready to protect ourselves. However, as the world around us evolves and challenges arise, fear has also evolved. It has taken on a new role—one that transcends self-preservation and propels us toward self-discovery.
When fear appears in our lives, it's a sign that we are standing at the precipice of change, poised on the threshold of growth. It signifies an opportunity to break free from the shackles of familiarity and venture into the uncharted territories of our potential. It is precisely in those moments of discomfort and uncertainty that we find the greatest potential for personal evolution.
Imagine for a moment the exhilaration of facing your fears head-on—stepping into the abyss of the unknown, armed with determination and an unwavering belief in your capabilities. Each step forward becomes a triumph over self-doubt, a testament to your resilience. As you inch closer to the edge of your fears, you begin to unfold new layers of strength, courage, and wisdom.
This isn't to say that conquering fear is an easy task. It requires us to summon every ounce of courage we possess and challenge the self-imposed limitations that have held us back. It demands vulnerability, as we expose our deepest insecurities to the light. But within that vulnerability lies the transformative power of fear—an opportunity to unearth hidden potential, to ignite the flames of self-discovery, and to sculpt the person we aspire to become.
MindREset for Confidence
I was talking about this with my friend Kelli Kanashiro (aka Japa Yoga) and that's how we decided to create a workshop to be vulnerable and to share how we learned to recognize and manage these cycles. All in a safe environment where we also feel belonging, like we are not alone.
In the MindREset for Confidence workshop, we dive deeper into the science of feelings, how to validate your emotions, and also how to release them and continue to show up to achieve your desired outcomes. We do so over the course of 4 weeks, with weekly online (and live) meetings, where everyone will have time to share and work through your own emotions, while also learning tools and techniques to support you in your journey.
The first MindREset for Confidence happened in May 2023 and we will host the second edition in the Fall. Fill this form to join the waitlist and be the first to know when the next group is open for registration!
✨ Embrace fear. Evolve fearlessly. ✨